Everything you’ve eaten in the past 3 months has tasted like unseasoned cardboard. You’ve gone vegan for your girl Adriana but “Tofurkey” just isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Thanksgiving used to be your favorite holiday but it’s just not the same without meat and copious amounts of butter. Lucky for you, Adriana appreciates your dietary sacrifices, that’s why today she’s offering you a special treat: her virgin asshole. Bring your waterproofs though, Adriana has a tendency to squirt uncontrollably during the holiday season. Happy Thanksgiving, pilgrim.